Surviving a Strong Willed Child

So, I read an article last night that really helped me regain my focus as a parent. I’ve been so struggling with how to handle my strong willed, tantrum pitching, constantly screaming 1 yo. I’ve only ever dealt with this through babysitting and with that you can tell the parents and then say adios and leave it for them to handle. Now, with a SWK(Strong willed kid) of my own I can’t run away and not deal with it. I need to be ever present and it’s exhausting. So, I finally looked up some articles for tricks, wisdom, and encouragement, and this blog post from this mama really encouraged my heart and opened my eyes to the treasure of a child I do have even when I feel as though we both won’t make it to his graduation from high school 😂😂 God is teaching me through this blonde blue eyed kiddo of mine, patience, understanding, endurance, unconditional love, and grace....lots of grace and patience again because I need a whole lot of that and God knows it. I’ll pass on to you what this sweet mama said in hopes it encourages you other Mamas as well trying to tread these rough waters of a strong willed kiddo 😉

“Don’t lose sight of the incredible gift that you have in your SWK because this shift in perspective is worth its weight in gold. When you perceive your SWK from a positive viewpoint, you will be a better parent to your SWK. Period. Not always easy, I get that, really I do. However, it will be so beneficial to see your SWK through a positive lens every day.
Remember how I said that I like control, order, and all of that? I also like to follow rules. I like consistency, and I like congruency. These are all things about me that I’ve had to learn to surrender in dealing with my SWKs much of the time. Try as hard as I may, I can’t control my SWKs and I certainly can’t change them, but I can change the things about me that are only aggravated by the things that my SWKs do that are the opposite of these things. Change you. Change your need to control…you want to guide them not control them. Repeat with me…you want to guide them not control them. Good stuff right there. Repeat as often as necessary

So often as parents we feel that we are in a battle. It is us against them. However, we are not in battle, although our SWKs like to make us feel like we are in an all-out war almost every day. The thing is, battles need to have a winner and a loser. This is not so in parenting, especially in parenting a SWK. Before engaging in anything that resembles a fight of any kind, ask yourself, “Is it worth it?” Maybe a different question to ask would be, “Does this really matter?”

Love them unconditionally
We know that as parents we need to love our kids unconditionally, but this is especially true in the case of a SWK. They feel the tension, they feel the stress, they feel your frustration. As much as they like to know that they are controlling you in regards to those things, they don’t need to be wondering if you still love them in spite of it. Make sure they know that they are loved.


Parenting a strong willed kid can be a challenge, but it can also be an incredible gift. Keeping a few things in mind, having a fresh perspective, and knowing a few tricks to keep up your sleeve can help you navigate the tumultuous waters just a bit, making them a bit smoother. It will be so worth it!"

Also Remember YOUR CHILD IS A PRECIOUS GIFT and somedays you will scream, you will say things you wish you could take back, you will be a "bad mom". It's ok, we all have our days and our tank runs on E way longer than it should. Know that there are other mamas out there struggling as well and beating themselves up for being that "bad mom" when really they are a great mom who has given so much and keeps giving no matter her level of exhaustion. We sacrifice our lives for our kids and that makes us AWESOME moms. Don't beat yourself up. I had this "bad mom" day just last week. A few choice words were said in my head and slipped out my mouth a few times. I had hit rock bottom. My husband came to the rescue and let me have an afternoon off which was very refreshing and so beyond needed. Being a SAHM means you get no days off though, no weekends off, and even your "off afternoons" aren't really off because, lets face it we still get calls and texts and we also wonder how they are surviving. It's a 24/7, 365 job through good days and hard days. But the job is so rewarding and to be able to watch and raise our legacies is absolutely a blessing! Just remember you are doing your best and its a "learn as you go" job. No mom is perfect, but you are perfectly placed in your child's life by God to guide and direct them. God is not only using you to shape them but He is using them to shape you as well. ;-)

Real World Mama Living and Loving

You know those Mama posts as you are scrolling through Instagram or Facebook, those “ I’m gonna stand here with my thousand dollar outfit and my kids looking like they just came out of a magazine gleefully smiling away or kissing mama’s cheek” posts. The posts that make you think “I’d like to be that mama someday! I need a new wardrobe, I’d love to look that good! My kids need new clothes, or why can’t my kids be that sweet or calm?”
Well ladies, I wish all that! I’m guilty of looking at their clothes and thinking “how pretty do they look?! And how fit!” But reality sets in and I realize I’m the normal mom over here budgeting for clothes, food, and just everyday needs. I throw on the same pair of jeans I have had for several years that still fit comfortably around my flabby skinned mama belly, that $8 old navy shirt that doesn’t cling to that said mama belly flab, and a belt so my jeans don’t fall off while picking up the toys sprawled across my floor for the upteenth time today. I put on makeup to feel like I am alive after a night of little to no sleep. I have gotten a 3min shower and I dream about a long soak in a tub. I live on little money and a heck of a lot of Faith. So yes, sometimes I wish I were that well put together mama in front of that white super clean backdrop or in that gorgeously laid out nursery, but for reals, would I trade this life for that? Heck No! I’m sure it’s not all rosey as it looks over there and those kids had 5 or 6 tantrums before or after that picture was taken.  In this very social media age today, it’s easy for us mamas to compare ourselves to other moms. I have to remind myself all the time that God has so blessed me with the life I have, I have clothes on my back, shoes on my feet, my kids are well fed  and healthy and so am I, we are able to pay our bills, we have a gorgeous apt that we live in, wonderful neighbors, clean water, and wonderful kiddos. We may have debts, we may not be able to afford the finest clothes, the fancy foods, the gorgeous house, a nice date nigh, BUT we do have so much more than so many other families have. I am reminded of the trips I took to Guatemala not so many years ago and how they live in the Mayan jungles. I remember walking into one home doing hut to hut evangelism and their baby was hanging in a blanket ON THEIR WALL <---That was the baby’s crib. It was dark inside with mud floors and it was all one big open room with just hammocks hanging from the beams above. This is their life and I’m over here dreaming about new clothes and my kids looking like models in pictures?
I say all this because I’m being honest about the mama life. Not all of us can have the Joanna Gaines dream home or the super stylish kiddos or the hip mama wardrobe, but what we can have are the real life moments with our kids and teach them what’s important in life. They can see a real mama who loves them beyond measure and a Dad who loves them so much he works so very hard to make ends meet. God gives us mana for today. So, when you are dreaming of being that super sexy stylish mama, just know you are beyond perfect the way that you are. Your kids will remember what all you did, not what all you wore. We are all mamas raising our kids to be the best they can be! I’m not saying let yourself go, I’m just saying it’s ok if you have a Walmart or second hand wardrobe. Don’t let the world beat you down. There are far more important things in this life, And you are raising them.