Tuesday, February 7, 2017

And Then There Were Two

When you become a parent of two, you quickly realized how easy your life was with one. Don't get me wrong, life with one is ridiculously hard! With your first kid you are learning so so much! Everything is new and if you have never been around babies, google becomes your best friend! My google search probably read like this "how many breaths does a newborn take, what's colic, what color should a newborn's poop be, how to comfort gassy baby, how to help baby poop, constipated newborn, dwarfism, 3wk growth spurt, growth spurt chart, how to not lose my mind during a several hour newborn cryfest" lol You get the picture. You worry about the slightest things and change their diapers every 2 seconds and have the burp cloth ALWAYS on you or within reach to catch the very slightest little dribble from their absolutely adorable little smiley mouths. It takes 20mins to get everything and their bedroom packed up for a 15min grocery run and you are a frazzled but glowing with the "I'm a new mom" glow. You get home and you sleep when baby sleeps and soak in all the snuggles and kisses and coos and smiles. After a year of all this sweetness, you decide, "hey let's have another! How hard can a second one be! I've got this parent thing down!" 

BAM!!!! You bring new baby home and your sweet little firstborn child seems to have grown a whole year in maturity between the time you went into the hospital and the time you brought the new addition home. You stare at them wondering "where in the world did my baby go?" They seem so big compared to that small newborn in your arms. You feel complete but yet so very sad and somewhat bitter by what you just did. You love that new baby in your arms beyond measure but you also are heartbroken by the fact you just had your first baby become a big boy/girl. Your little duo is now a trio. Then, you think to yourself, "there is only one of me and now two of them!". You now get to learn what REAL multitasking is. You will be amazed at what all you can do while holding a crying baby and toddler around your feet. You learn what TRUE sleep deprivation is. Yeah you thought you knew with your first, that was just a teaser 😜 Kiss naps goodbye because your kids have devised a plan against you, where one sleeps while the other makes sure mom/dad doesn't. Also they cry together!! Always! And it never fails, when you have to pee so bad the baby will need feeding and the toddler would have pooped, so now your baby is ballistic, your toddler is crying because the baby is crying, and your living room now smells like a dozen rotten eggs and you are about to pee in your pants. I look back and laugh at how I thought parenting just one child was so hard! I look at these mamas with 4,5 and 6 kids, and man, nothing but respect ladies!!! I'm sure it does get easier though after the third especially when your oldest is old enough to help. It's having kiddos close in age(which is what we wanted) it is just really hard but I wouldn't trade any of these hard moments for the world. It is a difficult transition from 1-2 and I know it has to be especially hard with a third because you and your husband are now outnumbered. No more "you take him/her and I'll get him/her". You don't pick favorites of course but you learn to asses the situation and then prioritize the needs at the moment and decide who stands/walks and who gets held. With each child comes a whole new ballgame especially depending on that new addition's personality. We have been so very thankful and blessed that our second is so chill. Yes, he has his moments but he is rather easy. Total opposite of our first. We love our family of four though! 

To the mama about to be a mama of two(which I know there are many of you) don't feel guilty for missing those special days with just you and your first born. Cherish those memories. Remind yourself of those memories and then remind yourself that you get to now experience it all again, just this time with another sweet little one. The first 2mnths are hard and you will cry and feel pulled between both kiddos and feel like there isn't enough of you to go around. You will feel like you are expecting too much of your oldest and feel guilty for not giving them enough attention. Remember, it is all a growing and learning process for all of you. Take your time! No need to rush to be a super mom! It's a transition process, emotionally, physically, and mentally for ALL of you. You will get there. For now, soak in all those firstborn snuggles and make memories. It all changes so fast. And SLEEP! Lol as much as you can. It's not all rosy but it is the best feeling ever when you see those two kiddos together. The best gift you will ever give your child is their sibling, their best friend. They may not realize it now but they will one day.